When I realized I wanted to learn drawing (in 2012, at the age of 32) my first thought was:
“But I can’t. I’m too old. It’s too late. I’m not talented … etc. etc.” (you know the ramble)
But because I had a difficult time in my life (after a quite shattering breakup) I NEEDED something to express myself and this SOMETHING had to be something other than “just words”.
So I started drawing anyway, regardless of my avid inner critic (who looks like a thin and haggard librarian, by the way, and who is – I’m quite sure about that – somehow related to Marcel Reich-Ranicki).
This is one of my very first drawings (Did I listen to Billie Holiday a lot? Hell yeah!)
Billie Holiday, pencil drawing, March 2012
So these few depressing weeks were illuminated by my new-found love for drawing.
Then I did, what scared and inhibited perfectionists always do: I bought the stuff.
I bought tons of art supplies, a collection of indian ink by Rohrer&Klinger (which intense colours I still love), watercolours, paper, pens etc. etc.
I also bought a lot of great books:
But in spite of all these (nonetheless quite inspiring) stalling tactics, I started drawing. It just made me feel good. I sat down on a Saturday afternoon, listened to an audio book and after a few weeks I suddenly realized, that this was what I had been doing as a little girl all the time: Listening to stories, drawing and getting lost in my own world.
I re-connected to something that I had completely lost over the years of becoming an adult and from that point on it got easier.
But it still is a struggle sometimes, because – to be honest – I want to be able to draw like Horst Janssen or Egon Schiele or Paula Bonet or … or …
But I can’t. And that’s not a ramble, but a fact.
So to get rid of my annoying fear/perfectionism, I decided to start a sketchbook, trying to do at least one drawing a week.
I also decided to publish these drawings every Sunday – first of all probably because I want to get rid of that stifling feeling of needing to be a great artist right away.
By just showing other people that I’m not I myself can accept that I’m not and that I don’t need to be.
And because I’m not really a very disciplined person, I also want to learn to stick to a routine and a deadline.
So, every Sunday, I will publish my recent drawing(s) – starting today!
Thanks for stopping by and: Trust in what you love:)
Well done !!! You are never ever too old to learn, no matter what it is you want to learn ! And you don’t have to imitate the works of other people, just be yourself and you wil create your own unique style ! If you really want to learn drawing and painting I suggest you follow classes. Good luck !!!
Thanks:) And I will take classes – probably starting in spring – yay:)
good on you !!!
The Billie Holiday sketch is wonderful. I too started up sketching last winter… it was never my forte really. I do know exactly what you are talking about…it is very almost meditative. Perhaps because you have to study something so intently, pay attention, in order to draw something. I can’t wait to see more…I admire your fortitude. And you do have talent.
Never think what you sketch has to “look” like what you’re sketching…it is more correct to say it has to “feel” like it….otherwise you may as well just take a photo
Thank you! And you got exactly the point: Even though I prefer the look of sketches over photorealistic drawing (I greatly admire people who can do this, but I think it’s a bit boring, to be honest), I tend to be dissapointed if my sketch doesn’t look like “the actual thing”. So I’ll keep that in mind …:)
Pingback: Butterflies (The Sketchbook Series) – 2 | Lineosa
Pingback: A mouse, a hamster and a cat (The Sketchbook Series) – 3 | Lineosa
Pingback: My ‘studio’ | Lineosa
Pingback: Favourite Writers – The Sketchbook Series #5 | Lineosa
Really liked the Billie Holiday sketch, and you’re absolutely right about who the two worst enemies of art and self-expression are: Perfectionism, and one’s Inner Critic. Do whatever you need to do to defeat them. You are good enough, and you will succeed! Onward!! : )
Dear Mark! Thank you for this kind and extremely encouraging (!) comment. I think up to now I’ve never been so dedicated to anything in my life as to learn how to draw – and that feels really good! Loved your last post about how you failed to win this contest, because it made me think that this really is the way one should handle these things: Learn from it, don’t take it personal (!) and then move on…